The Mommy Chronicles

  • Role Reversal

    Often times I will say something that leads my daughter to answer in a way that makes me pause and just think... where does she get this stuff from..wait.. do I say that?

    Today i took the kids to busch Gardens.
    Over lunch i thanked Ariella for being such a good girl, such a good helper with her brother.
    Her reply?
    -Thanks, but you better keep being be a good girl too or we wont go get ice cream after this. okay. sorry? i think. 

    Lately her favorite thing to tell me is what she used to do with me when i was a baby and she was a mommy. Yes she uses past tense. 
    When she was a mommy she used to take me swimming. 
    When she was a mommy she would take me to the splash park and I loved it. 
    When she was a mommy she could have ice cream when she wanted. 

  • #Threenager

    "Mom, are you trying to kill me?!"
    -When something doesn’t go as planned.

    "Mom. Are you serious? //'re kidding...."

    "MOM. I didn't hear any manners."
    -Usually when am giving her instructions.

    "Excuse me, did you wash your hands?"
    -Super aware of germs and hand washing. 

    "I can do it , I'm a big girl YOU KNOW."
    -Never help her into her car seat. or into a chair. into the car.. put her pants on.. or her shoes... just don’t help. You will get the wrath.


    More sass than I know what to do with, more emotion and independence spouting out every single day.
    Some moms might complain about the independence.  Some people like to poke fun, My favorite line is:  "She’s just like you! You’re in for it, You're getting it all back!" 

    I laugh it off, because I totally am.  And while to some that’s intimidating or annoying, to me, it gives me peace.
    A confident, independent, yet super compassionate girl with a heart full of love to give, that will firmly tell you where you stand, and how she would like you stand is exactly the girl I want to put into this world.
    She will call you out, and then make you a mean chocolate cake. 
    Go ahead and try to tell her no, I dare you. While you’re at it, go ahead and try to be a hypocrite and tell her to do something while you do something else. It doesn’t fly. 

    My girl. Stay strong baby, Momma is so proud of the girl you are. 
    The princess of sass with the sweetest of souls
    The #Threenager.


    Waking up an hour or so before the monkeys is the only way to get a shower and get a handle on my life. 
    Lately, my showers seem to be pretty similar to those horror stories where the girl gets in the shower and closes her eyes and a monster is right behind the curtain? Screams uncontrollably.. You know?

     Let me explain...

    Up early. PURPOSELY to shower in peace.
    Get in. Close my eyes to wet my hair, open them and


    Ariella's right up against the glass.

    "Hey Mom! What doin? 
    "Mom! Wheres the candy?"
    "Mom! Get out of there."

    And my personal favorite..
    "Stay right there mom, dont move, I'll go wakeup Jaxon."

    3 out of 5 times just as I open my eyes shes right there.
    Up againt the glass OR  standing in creepy silence.
    I cant decide which makes me jump higher. 

    NOT ONCE have I watched her enter the room or heard the bathroom door open, heard a footstep. NOTHING.
    This girl walks on clouds through wallls at 6 am when she enters my bathroom. 


  • DUCK!

    So its raining..hold on, let's be real, it was POURING.
    To set the scene:
    I'm by myself running to get the kids in the car.
    I open up the trunk for shelter and am standing under it so i can unload everyone and everything out of the stroller without getting completely drenched.

    As Ariellas climbing from the trunk over to her carseat i notice
    She took her shoes off while in the stroller. I'm standing there with her shoes in hand waiting to toss them down the middle of the car but shes standing directly in the middle aisle in my line of fire.
    So i say Ariella " Duck!"
    She's just staring at me, So I move on to the rest of the bags that needed unloading from the stroller, got  Jax in the car , and I make my way back (at this point sopping wet) to the trunk to fold up the stroller. I'm back to the dang shoes. (She's still standing in the way) I say a little more aggressively          "Ariella, DUCK!"

    THIS TIME..She opens her eyes real wide and looks dead at me pointing her finger and says MOM, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, THERE ARE NO STINKIN DUCKS!! GET IN THE CAR. ITS RAINING  -_-


    You are correct my dear, There are no stinkin ducks. No time to explain that one. Too busy laughing. My fault. 


  • Don't Mess with my Coffee.

    I'm a pretty busy mom.
    I dont sleep well, thats part of the deal you know? Fine. Thats cool. Thats what coffee is for. 
    I do try to limit my coffee, not nearly as much of a coffee drinker as i have been in the past, so lately when  I do splurge its a treat! 
    On this particular day it was a NECESSARY TREAT.
    So i made my way to starbucks, ordered a tall Hazlenut frappuccino...Nothing crazy. No extra this, no weird milks, absolutely no confusing special instructions.. just a small hazlenut frap. EASY RIGHT?

    Well I pay and stand over at the pickup counter and this guy hands me a SNOW WHITE beverage. Dude put milk in a blender and handed it to me.
    EXTREMELY Confused i looked up at him and said... " uhm.. the coffee??"
    Completely unphased, non-joking blank stare...his reply was "Oh you wanted coffee in that?" 

    YES darling. YESSSSSS. I wanted coffee in my coffee. 
    Hard to believe, but no sir, I didnt come here for the outstanding milk and ice. 


  • You might be a Disney Mom If...

    Leaving the house took an extra 5 minutes yesterday because I had to keep the car in Park so that I too, could watch and emphatically sing along to Lion King on my front screen while the kids watched in the back... the "Be prepared" Song was starting, you cant just let that song pass by without busting out your best "Scar" impression...right? maybe not. whatever. lol


  • Tricky Tricksters

    Well I knew I had trouble on my hands with Miss Ariella Skye...
    She just LOOOOOOVES to play jokes on me, Scare me, Hide from me, you name it. 
    She gets it from my husband, the ultimate Scare Master Himself. Constantly hiding and making me pee my pants in fear. 

    BUT NOWWWW, guess who jumped on the "Mess with mommy" bandwagon. 

    Shocker.. The 8 month old. 

    I layed Jax up in his crib for a nap, I peeked through the door crack to check on him a little while later and I could see he was standing up getting ready to just chuck his paci across the room and then cry for me to get it... (yet another joyous trick)
    But as I pushed open the door to lay him back down, He looked at me, and instantly dropped flat to the mattress layed down and shut his eyes tight... PRETENDING TO SLEEP with a big ol' sly grin on his face . ... youre supposed to be my innocent little baby??
    Lol that was short lived.

    Another little prankster is blossoming. If you read my stuff and laugh at Ariellas shenanigans, I have a feeling baby Jax is about to consume a lot more posts very soon. 

    Pray for my sanity, and maybe my bladder. 



  • Swoop.

    Meet Swoop.

    Swoop is the Eagles mascot if you're not familiar. Ariella has taken a liking to him recently. 
    But one conversation with swoop left me speechless so I just have to share it. 

    Heading to the doctor with both kiddos. Hands absolutely full!
    Holding jax, holding bags, holding purse, holding ariellas shoes, jax pulling my hair, a straightup LATE mess . 
    So I'm trying to get out the door and Ariella's a couple steps behind me holding up swoop.
    "MOM,  Swoop come wiff us?!!" 
    I dont particuarly care if the stuffed animal comes with us or not as long as I dont have to hold him at this point because I just dont have enough hands for that nonsense. I agreed. 
    "Sure ariella, grab him lets go."

    As im stepeping out the door I hear Ariella behind me, 
    "Okay swoop...You comin wiff us, You dont have to be so mad at me anymore.."

    So I buckle Jax in, get myself in the car and as im backing out im just overwhelmed with curiousity.
    I ask "Ariella why is swoop mad at you?"
    She looked at me like i was dumb as rocks and held him up and said
    "MOM.. look at his eyes! Hes so mad!!"

    I almost cried with laughter. His game face makes her think he's pissed! 
    Alll THE TIME.
    Shes constantly telling him to chill out. It kills me!

    This girl. I just love her!