Well HI :)
It's been an inexcusable long time since my last post. But I'm here today to correct that!
I'll start with a short update!
Football season is now completely underway; Weather and leaves are starting to turn here in Philly.
Jax is 10 months old, walking everywhere, doing well with his baby sign language, very vocal, very big, very strong, and ALL boy.
Ariella is creepin up on 3 years old, in preschool, loves her dance class, obsessed with all things princess, and is basically a small version of myself, which is both hilarious and eye opening.
My weekdays are focused on the kids, getting them to and from their activities.
My weekends are full of football. This time of year goes by SO fast!
With all that's going on, I have to dive ALL IN.
I get so regimented and focused on what's in front of me, getting from one task to the next trying to be the best mother I can be and the most attentive wife I can be.
And you all KNOW how I love it!
Those kids give me LIFE. My husband is my ROCK. My family is HUGE to me.
So to keep consistency in my home during these months where our schedles and demands are all amplified, I created A system for homelife that I can manage.
And its working!
My kids are happy. My marriage is healthy.
However, my spirit hasn't been.
At times I could feel my stress rising, I could hear insecurities a little louder, I felt myself just going through the motions doing what works, what keeps everyone in motion and while I wasn't unhappy, i was getting exhausted both physically and mentally. I know you can relate!
My initial thoughts to these feelings were, oh maybe its just a phase, we're all really busy. This is just what life looks like for us right now.
And of course the wonderful "This too shall pass...."
And then came these questions:
Hey? You’re not blogging anymore?
Hey you haven’t posted in a while?
Hey, do you still have blog??
At first I laughed it off, apologized and replied honestly! I HAVE NO TIME.
Honestly in my mind, extremely selfishly I thought, Well, I'm still praying and I’m just trying to do what God has called me to do in this moment. God knows I believe.
God knows where my heart is.
But nevertheless my spirit was stirred by those questions. So as I started to MAKE TIME again to connect in the spirit, It didn’t take me very long to realize that YESSSS, God certainly knows where my heart is.
And that is EMBARASSING!!
I also have a heart for funfetti cupcakes, hazelnut coffee, and a clean kitchen!!
It takes more than heart to do ANYTHING in this world.
If I tried to make dinner with just my heart my family would.not.eat.
Why am I content with just giving God a piece of my heart right between funfetti cupcakes and a good latte? Surely he deserves more than that! He deserves my attention; I don’t want to be neutral with God. In this world being neutral with God is all too common. A " God is Good" Facebook post isn't going to get us all to heaven.
There is WORK that goes in to a clean kitchen, there is WORK that goes into a healthy marriage, and there is WORK that goes into maintaining a relationship with the Holy Spirit!
By "Work" I mean it takes a conscious effort to walk with God, and grow spiritually.
In being so focused on just the tasks at hand I shrunk my world down to a manageable level and created a robotic household that I can just manage with my eyes closed. In that, I didn’t think I needed help.
I left no room for God to really work in my day to day.
And both fortunately and unfortunately people I had no idea God was even working in through my stories were calling me out, and were holding me accountable.
Thats powerful because I really live out what I am telling you. This isn't just talk for me, these are my real and honest perspectives on what God is doing in my personal life that I am putting to light in the hopes that it could spark you to open your heart to what God is doing for you.
So I'm going to be honest in saying I got lost in the shuffle for a minute.
My goal with this post is to help you recognize that the voice in your head telling you that you don’t have time to pickup your bible
You have to clean your house
You have piling laundry so you can't possibly make time to just sit and pray. Who has time to sit?
You worked all week and you're exhausted so you can’t possibly make it to church.
That voice isn't you, that’s not what’s in your spirit that’s what’s on your shoulder.
Its the easiest trap to fall into but the bible says:
"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:2 NIV"
"So i say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.
Galatians 5:16 NIV"
The good news is there is no shame in starting over or renewing your mind on your walk with God.
I'm starting over with you. Today's a really good day to reconnect with God <3